March 28th 2017 – home

I felt really out of sorts yesterday; whether it was losing the hour or because I’d woken at 5am and not been able to get back to sleep, I’m not sure. Obviously, I still felt bad about my behaviour on Saturday night but Mr P was, of course, really lovely about it, even blaming himself for being in a grump and telling me to stop beating myself up etc. I must say, I felt much better after a decent night’s sleep though.

Mrs S (formerly The Bigot) has been digging in her heels about the new referral process at work. It’s a lot of admin and quite time-consuming but the fact is, we are secretaries. Expecting the GPs to do their own, arduous admin on top of everything else is completely unreasonable, in my eyes. Just because she’s willing to idle away her time until her imminent retirement twiddling her thumbs and vaping at her desk (because she actually does) doesn’t mean that do. I’m a secretary, I enjoy my job and I should be allowed to get on with it without being made to feel like a suck-up. We’re having a meeting with the senior partner about it next week and whilst I really don’t want to back down from what I believe to be my role, I’m also wary of my enthusiasm making Mrs S appear lazy, although I secretly think she is. Why should I spend my days twiddling my thumbs and clock-watching? The partners gave me a hefty pay rise last year to boot, I don’t want them to regret it and start taking the piss.

Also, I caved and bought two bottles of wine after work after Mr P texted to say that his job in Durham wasn’t going to plan and he therefore probably wouldn’t be back until late. It undoubtedly says something about me that I can’t even envisage waiting for him to return without a drink in my hand but once I’ve come home, walked the dog, done any chores there may be, worked out, showered and got ready again, the idea of just sitting and reading or surfing the net or watching Richard Herring videos on Youtube, wine-free, seems absurd. Hell, I even crack open the wine when I cook, which is a rare occurrence but still. I genuinely wonder at times how people who are tee-total know they are enjoying down-time.

So, after one day, I’ve fallen off the wagon. Yay me.


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