March 2nd 2017 – home

Mr P was working away in Sheffield on Monday and Tuesday so I arranged for The Blonde Sister to come round on Tuesday evening for some much-needed kid-free time. Both the twins have been poorly and she’s had a right old time of it recently. Little V was sick in her cot on Sunday night and also in The Blonde Sister’s bed when she was moved into that. The following morning when lifting Little P out of her cot, she then proceeded to projectile-vomit all over The Blonde Sister as well. A vat of wine was definitely in order. However, half an hour before she was due to arrive, she text me to say that Little V had been sick again after being relatively well for the past twenty-four hours and she therefore didn’t want to leave her. Those pesky kids. I ended up spending the evening at mum’s watching as she arduously made her way through an enormous ironing pile whilst I, supportive daughter that I am, ploughed through the red wine.

In other family news, it would appear that The Redhead Sister is back with The Millionaire! After her ‘flingette’ with young Rasher ‘frazzled out’ (her pun), she is trying again with her ex. If she can take it for what it what it is and enjoy being treated to swanky dinners and weekends away, fine, but I know my sister. Once the initial frisson wains and they settle into a normal relationship, she will get bored again. I hope this comes before jealousy rears its ugly head and she starts panicking about what he’s up to and where he is. We shall see.

At work, The Eternal Dieter was talking about her recent weigh-in at her slimming club, bemoaning that she had put on a stone and a half since last year. She then went on to defend her weight gain by explaining that she was wearing jeans and needed a wee at the time of her weighing. That’s one heavy pair of jeans, I thought to myself, or one mega bladder.

An embarrassing incident on the bus just now. I alighted at my stop, not realising until I had that my umbrella handle had looped around another passenger’s earphones and seemingly yanked them from their ears. I was apologetic when the fellow stopped me to point out the white earbuds dangling from my umbrella handle but he then explained that they weren’t actually his. Just as the bus pulled away. The kind soul took them though and said he would catch the bus at its next stop and deliver them back to their rightful owner. It was only as he turned to follow the bus that I realised I had had a similarly embarrassing, and umbrella-related, encounter with him before when I had left my seat as we neared my stop, only for him to deliver back my brolly I had left on my seat. I thanked him, but the bus chose that moment to lurch violently and I fell into him.Mortifying. I just hope the poor, earphone-less passenger didn’t think I was trying to nick their phone.

Urgh.

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