So, after a hiatus of about ten years, I have resumed my diary after gleaning inspiration from both Alan Bennett and David Sedaris – the works of whom I can only dream of matching,
To me, 2017 feels like a year of change. I broached the subject of babies with Mr P a few days ago. I think I might finally be ready to take the plunge. However, when I think about it in more practical terms, the cons far outweigh the pros:- our relationship/sex life, money, work, space, my figure. But these are worries that will never fade and if I wait in the hope that things will eventually change, what if I leave it too long, wake up at forty-five and think ‘oh shit! Forgot to have that kid!’
We bumped into two friends last night – both of whom are pregnant. My best friend, Mrs W, is also up the duff. Most of our mates have kids. It sounds like a sense of ‘if you can’t beat ’em, join ’em’ but hey, you’ve got to have some kind of motivation, right?
I think I’ll wait until our birthdays are out of the way and then have a proper discussion with Mr P about it. He never thinks about the practicalities and would happily become a father tomorrow if he could but certain things need addressing. It sounds shallow but the change that will happen to my body is a big factor for me, as well as having to leave my job. Statutory maternity pay is a joke and yet childcare is extortionate – a few big decisions have to be made before we go for it.
Although I never usually make them, a resolution I do have is to buy a – retro alert – Discman (or whatever they’re called) as well as a CD album a month. The logic behind this is that I will actually listen to albums in full and not a selection of songs on shuffle. I know they’re archaic but you can still buy them and I find iPods and the like all too confusing.
I also want to save £100 a month and I would like a trip to Cornwall to visit the Cornish Connection. I wouldn’t say no to a trip to Sorrento either. We already have a day trip to Manchester booked, a surprise birthday treat for Mr P to Sat Bains as well as Danny Baker and Miles Jupp gigs.
Another resolution of sorts is to go back to writing my novel which I must have started about five years ago and which I hope beginning this daily record will help with, getting my creative juices flowing and so forth.
Today, as I sit here on the sofa flanked by Mr P and the whippet, I can’t really complain about my lot despite a difficult 2016.